September 2011
29 posts
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Dear Ex-boyfriend from 2 years ago,
I didn’t get it before. I would get so mad at you for thinking you knew what was best for me better than I did. I didn’t understand why you couldn’t just give me whatever little piece of yourself that was available. I hated how you told me I was too good for what I wanted.
I get it now.
That when you really respect someone, you won’t give them anything less than what...
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Mountains.
If you want to talk about analogies, then really it’s more like a cupcake. A perfect one, with rich frosting that balances just right with the rest of the cake. The cupcake that you aren’t hungry for. The one that you eat anyway. The one that tastes so good on your tongue, for 30 seconds. The one that makes you feel sick in the end, because you weren’t hungry in the first place.
...
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Moratorium
I’ve used the word “moratorium” four times this week, and although I use it correctly, I can’t help but feel like I’m faking it. All the time. Because I know the word “moratorium” but what if people expect me to then have this incredibly extensive vocabulary? When really the only words I know are “moratorium” and “cognitive.” I...
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Dinner at the Hochrein's
Dinner at the Hochrein’s is like stepping inside of the American dream and realizing why you should do everything you can to run the other way. We sat in their beautiful dining room, off of their beautifully redone kitchen, in the middle of their beautiful customized house, sitting with their beautiful family: a mom, a dad, three kids and a dog. I sit at their cherry wood dining room table...
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Listen
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“I’m like, everyone got a course to fly. Run towards a rise and aim for the...”
– Slug
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Blemish
I don’t want to write sad things. I don’t want to write this down because I’ve written it all before. But this time is so much worse, because this time is now, and who cares about last time when this time is rotting just below the surface. Acidic. At least last time. a few weeks ago, is gone and somewhere else, just like I wish I was. What has happened since last year? Last week?...
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“I just gave myself a hug. For at least eight seconds. I loved it.”
– J.W
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Road Work Ahead
I’ve always been a runner. Looking for an escape route. Today that manifested as physically running, but going back to our old street to do it. Going back to the old. Running from now. Panting.
On the way to Crane road there was a little bit of road work. The construction man stopped me and stood by my open window, “Just give me a minute, sweetie.” I turn my music down and...
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“The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in...”
– Brian Tracy..rubbing it in.
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Last season's scarves.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the cooler weather. But it’s the abruptness that sends me into shock. I wanted fall and sweaters, but not all at once. When did the sun start going away so early? I can’t adjust to 60 degrees when I just sat in 95. And it’s not just the weather- it’s the way I’m not used to my room looking like this. Didn’t expect cold hands when...
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Early Fall Weather
I just wanted to say that I wore a sweater for the first time this season, and could not be happier while I inhaled the crisp breeze and hummed Florence and the Machine. Also, a few weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night to write down one of those genius-middle-of-the-night ideas that I was dead set on not forgetting. I found the post-it note today…it says “Cat Vacuum.”...
Anonymous asked: Your welcome. I'm just anon because I never had even followed your blog, I just saw that picture you submitted and, well, unff. I didn't want to come off as that strange guy who sees your body and gushes over you in case that would be weird. It's kinda weird. But really, you're welcome. I've read some of your blog and I just want you to know how beautiful you really are....
Anonymous asked: I saw your picture from this morning. Your body is so perfect. You have no idea how beautiful I think you are and how attracted I am just at first glance I am to you. You're so beautiful.
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“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to...”
– E.E Cummings
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Please read. Please read. Please read.
Last night I watched the bride walk flawlessly from table to table and I wonder if I will ever be that beautiful. I read something about Adele getting numerous wedding proposals a day. I listen to her music and goosebumps line up on my arms and legs, and I wonder if I will ever be that beautiful. I listen to an interview with Tina Fey, listen to her humility, her genuine intelligence and talent,...
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Standing ground Vs Standing down
“I don’t want to leave Megan behind.” The thought is fresh and loud. I look at my therapist hoping he can read my thoughts so we don’t have to have this conversation. Geneen Roth says emotional or compulsive eating is a way we leave ourselves. I didn’t understand this until recently- On the way to Meg’s, telling myself “You’re not hungry. Don’t...
